How much SHOULD we expect from our partners?

How much SHOULD we expect from our partners?

We all have expectations on how things are going to go in just about every aspect of our lives and our partners are no exception. What started all of this was me watching one of my favorite shows Sex and the City. So every one of these characters had these huge exceptions for the men they were either dating, were leaving to go on a date with or hadn’t even met! It seemed crazy to me at the time… but I soon realized I was doing the same thing and I didn’t even realize!

When I moved in with Dillon I had A LOT of different things (straight up crazy things) that I expected. He is the first person I have lived with it just us before! I honestly didn’t know what to expect! I was intentionally as well as unintentionally expecting certain things from him. This kind of shocked me once I realized what I was doing! So I decided to make a list of all of the things I was expecting from him and honestly myself since we moved in together and I’m am going to share some of them with you… well some of the less embarrassing ones. One word perfection I was expecting perfection! Which is ridiculous! We are people I was expecting something that doesn’t exist. Crazy right?

We all expect a lot of our partners, as we should, however I found a lot of my expectations where conflicting… like I expected him to be consistent but still be spontaneous at the same time.  I do this all the time even without noticing and it drives me crazy, it makes me feel like he isn’t meeting my expectations (even though he is doing that and more!) Does anyone else find themselves doing this? Like how can I expect him to have a full time job but still make time for me. Do you find yourself doing this as well, expecting your partner to do things but at the same time expecting the exact opposite?

Now that you know some of the weirder things I expect from my partner lets talk about some things you should always  expect from your partner. To start this list we have time and no I don’t mean ” yeah we totally talked on the phone for like ten minutes three days ago and I think I am in love!…what do you mean has he texted me back?…it doesn’t matter we are in love!” I mean time, dates, parties, back-roading  (if you grew up like me) I mean genuine quality time together. Here are some more things you should expect and get from your partner…

  • to listen
  • to help you
  • to be noticed by them
  • for them to give effort to the relationship
  • physical touch
    • now I know this is a tough one for you all in a long distance couples and I don’t know your relationship. If you see each other regularly and you have a mutually beneficial relationship then that’s great! However, if you have been together for a while and have never physically met each other? I don’t see how that is a positive relationship for both of you.
  • for everyone to be open and honest with each other.
  • forgiveness
    • We all have pasts (that we can’t change) and it is so not fair to hold people’s pasts against them. They can’t change it, so please don’t be that person who makes them feel awful for things they can’t change.
  • unconditional love
    •  If someone loves you or if you love someone else there should be no conditions! “Oh I will love you IF…” just doesnt work, I just makes you feel really bad on the inside

I know every relationship is different and everyone is different, I’m not telling you these things to restrain what a good relationship is we are all different in our own unique ways and there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Just do the best you can, love unconditionally and try your best not to expect too much!

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